Where For Art Thou, Res-Man?

I know he's still alive because I keep getting calls from people asking me just how fantastic he is.

Borderline indescribable.
A prince among men.
A man so in love with his wife he likens 20 years of marriage to 20 minutes -- under water.

But if anyone hears from him let him know that peepsNet will not be ignored. peepsNet will resort to making up bad things if necessary, or worse -- start telling the truth.