No High Heels, Please

Nicole's article about noisy neighbors finally saw the light of day at the SF Chronicle, and it's better than even we remember it, whenever the heck that was. Our fact-checkers and librarians are off for the holiday so we can't be sure, but careful readers will find a clue that it has been at least 5 months since this baby was submitted.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, as the case may be) this particular problem is timeless, so the Chron could have waited until next New Year's Eve to print it. Even as the lives which play out in apartments change the apartments themselves remain unaltered windows -- make that sound tunnels -- to other people's worlds.

I once lived in a tiny SoHo apartment, an illegal sublet, which made me even more self-conscious about rousting neighbors who may have been in a position to scotch my sweet deal. And in a perverse reversal of the power dynamic Nicole beautifully describes, it was my downstairs neighbor who held sway.

I was religious in my aversion to making noise. I listened to no music. I watched TV from about 2 feet away (it was a small apartmet, anyway). I never wore shoes indoors and, unlike Nicole, didn't have to make any compromises about not even wearing high heels. I had no pets. For a long time, it was me and only me who lived there.

All was well, for months. But I worked late often and often stayed out even later and one night I came home to find in the stairwell (it was a 6-storey walkup) the daughter of the apartment below making out with a guy from the hood. It was about 3 a.m. Days later I ran into mom, who excoriated me for making noise all the time. I was dumbfounded (more than usual), inviting her by default to elaborate. Her daughter couldn't sleep and was missing school (or work, I forget) because of all of my damn noise keeping her up.

Still dumbfounded, we parted with me mumbling something about being sorry and not making noise anymore (remember, I was there on borrowed time). Then it dawned on me: daughter was staying out late, making out with guys, and mom knew nothing about it. When cornered about not being able to wake up in the morning, lack of sleep from the noisy upstairs neighbor became a convenient and believable explanation, assuming (as I did) mom was a heavy sleeper or hard of hearing (remember, she complained on behalf of her daughter, never herself).

We managed an uneasy truce, me and the old lady downstairs (I usually kill with old ladies), but she exacted some evil revenge on the day I moved out. She reported it to the landlord, who then was able to confront the legitimate tenant from whom I was subletting, blowing his cover.

Wait -- this wasn't all about Nicole? My bad.

Thanksgiving is Coming Up?

We won't be cooking this year, as our tiny kitchen this year is even tinier than Nicole's, and stocked with fewer essentials than she carries on a backpacking expedition.

But, if we were going to spend any time playing with fire indoors, we would probably make every single thing on her NPR menu, and nothing else.

Plan "A," of course, remains "just happened to be in the neighborhood." We'll bring a hearty appetite. No hurry on the dishes. Would lavender flowers help?

Wilderness Nicole

We have it good authority that Nicole is goin' camping for a few days next week. We sure hope you know what you're is doing; even under the best of circumstances spending days in the wild requires careful planning because you have to carry all your own food. Forget about the edible plants manual -- one sticky page and you'll end up like that "Into the Wild" guy.

Listen -- you are going to get tired of dehydrated macaroni and cheese in about 15 minutes. And you will also need to figure out some way to pass the time in what will otherwise be a repetitive slog through natural beauty, star-studded night skies and the kind of silence you cannot even imagine and are unable to adequately describe.

Here's a thought -- how about some wilderness gourmet cooking! Your welcome!

We know you are too busy so we've done some research on your behalf (we flatter ourselves that you are reading this. Maybe Samer will tell you about it) and found this incredibly thorough, perfectly-time article on NPR.

In it some chick in SF writes all about the things you will need to know. We are sure your comfort level will increase just by reading this:

Escaping into the wilderness doesn't have to mean leaving good food behind. A little preparation before hitting the trail makes dishes like penne pasta with vegetables a cinch.

Boy, this girl really does know her trailmix. Witness:

Years of backpacking in various parts of the United States have taught me that while a box of organic macaroni and cheese is easy to prepare after a long day of lugging a heavy pack up and down mountains, it's not nearly as satisfying as quinoa chowder or fresh vegetables roasted over a fire.

These days my pack is filled with a small container of olive oil, dried herbs, salt and pepper and fresh fruit rather than packets of dehydrated beans and rice or bags of quick-cooking oatmeal flavored with desiccated strawberries.

Our pack would contain 3 GPS units, a sat phone and Glock 19 -- you can get lots of food and even have it prepared and served to you with a Glock - but that's just us.

We have to admit we really didn't read the article too closely or bother to Google the author, whose name escapes me, but it's on the internet and must be true. Anyway there's a nifty companion podcast where the incredibly well-prepared author lays it all out in a way even we can understand. We were captivated.

So, Nicole, do your homework (your welcome!) -- and be safe! No Lord of the Flies stuff, OK!

West Coast Peeps Convention

Dinner at NOPA was fantastic. Lots of "remember when" stuff. Fortunately it was dark inside this fascist eatery best known for a $12 burger so nobody could see peepsNet cry. Even if, we'd blame the gin. Or even the memory of the absinthe.

Katy seemed remarkably unaffected by her return to the Baron's fold. Everything is better in San Francisco, I guess.

Nicole doesn't like photographers. Or at least a guy with an iPhone in her face. Funny tude from someone who was bitten by the shutter bug (niiiiiice) recently.

Live and let live, baby!

Speaking of Photography ...

Sometimes, she just loves the blur
Originally uploaded by nicspir

... And the need to balance coverage between the Twin Peeps: Nicole has a new camera which she has been prone to call the "camera of gloriousness." Yes, she's in love and she's not ashamed to admit it.

Here's a flickr slideshow from their first vacation together as a couple.

Nicole, Nicole, Nicole ...

PeepsNet isn't about ratting on the peeps. We aren't interested in the seamy underbelly of their lives. We'd rather not think there was a dark side. We don't want to hear about their weaknesses and foibles, or the gender confusion, addiction, gambling obsession, spiritual ambivalence, Oedipal complex, "daddy issues," and ritual cruelty to small animals.

And neither should you.

But there are limits to our restraint. We have just learned that Nicole has been unfaithful -- Nicole! Here is her unrepentant confession, on the Interwebs:

"A confession: I'm obsessed with cauliflower. And I'm not sorry."

Oh -- you're sorry all right.

We can't fathom what possessed npr.org to publish this metaphor-laden "Story of N." Of course, it is extremely well written, dammit.

"If a head of this funny-looking crucifer doesn't find its way into at least one meal a week, I'm either having a bad month or am out of town too much. A dinner without cauliflower feels off-balance, lackluster. A life without cauliflower is no life at all."

Nicole, please. Try to regain a modicum of dignity. No man is worth humiliating yourself like this. (Or likes to be called a "funny-looking crucifer." This may be your problem).

PeepsNet must find a hip urban dictionary to completely understand the disgusting acts Nicole describes below -- reprinted not for shock value but out of journalistic necessity:

"There are so many ways to adore you, cauliflower. I love you for your delicious, crumbly gratins baked for an hour in the oven on Friday evenings. I love your Monday night soups quickly whirled together and laced with mushrooms and herbes de Provence. I love your lazy Sunday afternoon curries served with coconut rice. But I think best of all I love you slow-roasted at 400 degrees for about a half hour."

I just don't know you anymore.

The entire, pathetic love letter is here. And, if you have a stomach for this, don't forget to listen to the podcast.

The World in a Grain of Rice

She taught us that quinoa could save the world and now Nicole is all about "The World in a Grain of Rice." Make up your mind? What's that? This just in: They are both grains.

Our woman in San Francisco is serving up some Chow (sorry) about what you can do with things called "polenta" and "millet" and "bulgur." Worst cocktails names ever.

But we like lists, and this is a top 10, which means we can just find #1 and go with that without a lot of reading. Cake is mentioned. That's promising.

The "about" part at the bottom is very cool, and peepsNet is going to use this boilerplate for Nicole stories from now on. Our only quibble is calling Cucina Nicolina a "cooking blog." It's about life, people.

---

Nicole Spiridakis contributes to the San Francisco Chronicle and NPR online, as well as other publications, and writes a cooking blog called Cucina Nicolina.

I Know What You Did Last Summer, Finally

Huge backlog over at the Chron must be the reason they are only now printing Nicole's 2007 summer essay about cooking in her brother's tiny Greek apartment. Hell, even he's not there anymore -- rumor has it Kurt is all salty dog up in Maine which, come to think of it, may not be that far from Greece after all.

Anyway, we love the bit about cooking in the sink. Yes, the sink.

Vegan Valentine's Day

Turns out it falls on the same day as that other one this year. But this year we have a bunch o' new recipes from almost-vegan Nicole, via NPR. The Chocolate chocolate cake with chocolate butter cream (air quotes here) sounds mighty good, in case anybody cares what I think.

Happy St. Basil's Day

There's the author herself, with dad, bro and mom (r-l).

For the Director's Cut, check out cucinanicolina.

You Think You Have It Tough

Just in time for Thanksgiving, Nicole has revealed her secrets to throwing a dinner party for 15 people in a 6 x 8 room with a table that seats six and chairs for only seven. For her next trick ...

It's a bit of a departure for her Home & Garden column in The Chron (it tops the "Home" section) because not all of the advice is entirely serious.

Consider moving: While we're on the subject of dishes, it's perfectly acceptable to move to a new apartment solely on the basis of its having a dishwasher.

I've always thought that, but have never had the guts to say it out loud.

Make sure there's enough wine: This is most important, as it ensures you'll laugh off any kitchen disasters and that you'll sail through the cleanup without a care at the end of the evening.

That is downright Galloping Gourmet.

Prepare for last-minute RSVPs: If your beautiful wooden dining table is large enough to sit six, perhaps it would be wise to ask just six, rather than 10, guests to the feast.

And even if they all do show up, you have all that wine to sail through finding them all plates without a care.

Anyway, I think our hostess is playing a support role this year, so you won't find her in the kitchen quite as much. But I'm sure there will be plenty of wine.

Quinoa Update

Fortunately, peepsNet has no rules about how many times it can write about the same thing. How could we, since we only write about the same five (or two) people. No Martian problem for us: the world consists of Nicole and Samer (necessarily in that order), some other people whose names escape me, and Samer and Nicole (not necessarily in that order).

Which brings us to the new crop of quinoa. Well, it's the old crop, and it has cropped up again as the #2 emailed story on npr.org three weeks after its original pub date. She's already done radio to explain the gravity-defying phenomenon of this seed (not a grain, as EVERYBODY knows) which can save the world, so can TV be far behind?

People: there's a writer's strike. You guys need content. It's either a reality show about cage-fighting between Survivor All-Stars and The Biggest Losers, or Nicole. Think about it. Shouldn't be taking that long.

Our theory is that many people are considering Nicole's Quinoa Stuffed Peppers as part of their Thanksgiving fare (that's called "Interpretive Reporting" for you civilians. Not "Making It Up" journalism. Definitely not).

Btw, you can email the story here.

Radio Primps the Internet Star

Saturday afternoon Originally uploaded by nicspir.

Nicole has conquered yet another medium with a guest shot this morning on NPR's "Bryant Park Project."

Nicole appeared in the segment about the most emailed stuff. Regular peepsNet readers already know that "Quinoa, a Sacred, Super Crop" has been #1 on NPR.org pretty much since it was posted last week.

That's right. It isn't even an NPR story. It has nothing to do with the deteriorating situation in Pakistan. Nary a presidential candidate is mentioned in it.

Host Luke Burbank called the story "A love letter to quinoa" and then turned all Tim Russert with an opening question geared at knocking Nicole off stride -- at 5:17 a.m. PT no less, basically the time she usually just gets to go to sleep after a long night of replying to fan mail: "So, what is so great about quinoa, anyway!" he lashed out (well, that's what it sounded like).

An unperturbed Nicole chuckled and replied with the poise of a veteran that quinoa tastes good and is easy to make. Take that, Luke Skywalker. She then turned the tables and, speaking directly to the NPR universe, postulated that this amazing food could feed the world. What have you done for the world lately?

Check out the podcast, on iTunes or from this NPR page. Nicole's segment begins at about the 1:19 mark.

She's Number 1!

It's official.

Nicole's Quinoa article on NPR.org is the number-one emailed in the past 24 hours.

There might be another bit of great news coming from the publication of this article, peepsNet has learned. Watch this space.

Best. Clip. Ever.

Really. Nicole has had excellent play on substantial dead-tree publications like the San Francisco Chronicle and the New York Times (and their digital entities as well, of course) but today's article on npr.org looks really, really pretty.

It could be the bitchin' pictures Nicole took. It could be that the recipes are tantalizing (peepsNet is making the peppers this week). It could be that this is the first food story she has been paid for, after giving away the store for free over at cucinanicolina for so long.

But we don't care. We just like it. Really, really.

Pets with a Purpose

You want worms. Red ones. Lots of them. Trust me.

Nicole's latest Chronicle column answers the question that loomed large when she wrote two months ago about gardening in your apartment: where you gonna get all that rich dirt you need to grow tomatoes on your window sill?

The answer is worms. About 1,000 will do.

They don't take up much space, you don't have to clean up after them (that is kind of the point) and they subsist on a diet of vegan scraps that, in San Francisco, would otherwise become part of the three tons of used food collected every day and processed at a commercial compost facility outside Vacaville (love the sound of that town's name).

If you are in Bay area check out the the print version of Nicole's article, which is framable, we hear -- it takes up the whole back page of the House and Garden section, on page on F - 8.

Nicole, Redesigned

Well, her site is anyway. No reason to tamper with perfection.

After a long period of contemplation and the press of higher priorities nicolespiridakis.com has undergone a complete makeover (no way was I going to use that word in the headline.)

Gone is the iconic picture in the borrowed shirt, replaced with a graceful headshot (used here without permission, as usual).

Speaking of photos, the landing page is a nicely staged shot of one of Nicole's many SF Chron articles -- you know she has a monthly column there called "Common Walls?"

But our favorite page is "clips." There are lots and lots of them, and room for more. Get on it, girl!

The Pantry is Perfect. Of Course It Is.

On the theory that you just can't know enough about Nicole and the reality that peepsNet is too lazy to do any enterprise reporting, we invite you to surf on over to The Perfect Pantry and read up on what "the passionate cook behind the stove at Cucina Nicolina" likes to read up on.

She's got a birthday coming up (not A Big One, no, not until Next Year) but, who knows, you might get an idea or two about what the girl is into if you haven't yet bought that present yet.

We know this is all only about Nicole's shameless attempt to promote her blog, and we applaud her for it.

Hey -- we hear that a redesign in the offing @ nicolespiridakis.com. About time.

If You Want Her, She'll Be In The Closet

We wonder if Nicole needs to phone ahead for reservations anymore, or if Barry Bonds wants to be photographed with her, or if it's starting to get a little creepy for Gavin Newsome to keep dropping by because "I just happened to be in the neighborhood?"

Not that we think she should stop writing. And neither does the Chron, which today publishes Nicole's latest column about life as a renter in San Francisco. We can't get enough of these. So keep it up. And just tell the mayor when he drunk dials you that you can't hear the doorbell in your closet. Office.

Letters to the peepsNet Ombudsman

Dear peepsNet ombudsman,

I'm all about a shrinking world wrought by the digital revolution but at heart I'm a pretty provincial guy. Can you arrange to have Nicole's latest article, about that neighborhood in San Francisco, published on my local newspaper's web site?

Mike in Raleigh

Dear Mike,

No problem. Here it is. And tell your like-minded friends in Boston they don't have to cruise to far-flung servers either.

The peepsNet Ombudsman
"It's all about you."

________________________

Dear peepsNet Ombudsman,

His work is good and all but some of us actually take pictures for a living and kinda resent all the attention Samer is getting with his DCist play. Any chance you can cut back on the articles about him and leave a little air in the room?

Rich in Portland

Dear Rich,

No.

The peepsNet Ombudsman
"It's all about you."

________________________

Dear peepsNet Ombudsman

I may be wrong about this, but it seems like you only write about the same 6 people over and over again. People tell me I'm pretty interesting -- is there any chance you can do an article about me? You could talk me into an interview (wink wink) and I don't look half bad these days on TV.

OBL in ?????

Dear OBL,

Am I mistaken or did you an advice column for our sister publication? Frankly, we were disappointed that you couldn't come to terms on a renewal, but, hey, I also thought Hell would freeze over before CNN walked away from Reuters.

I don't really know how to answer your question. Our subjects generally beg us to stop writing about them. We've never been actually invited to cover anything. We'll have to think about this and get back to you.

The peepsNet Ombudsman
"It's all about you."